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View Profile Proteas
I'm probably gonna to burn for this // Ain't no lesson to learn from this // There's nothing I'ma earn // But it sure is fun.

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American Idol Rant

Posted by Proteas - May 5th, 2009


I have a confession to make; occaisonally, I will watch American Idol. This may come as a shock to some of you who know me, seeing as how I've railed against reality TV in the past, but still, I can't help to watch American Idol from time to time... especially this season; Allison Iraheta is DAMN CUTE (in addition to being a good singer), and I hope and almost pray that either she or Adam Lambert win. It would be nice to see somebody with ability as a Rock singer actually win this season, but wether or not that actually happens is another question.

*shrug*

Anyway, my main point of bringing this up is the fact that Simon Cowell has recently stated that when this season is up, that's it for him. He's done with being a judge on the show, he'll just work behind the scenes. But since this season has introduced a 4th judge on the pannel with the lovely (and SOBER) Kara DioGuardi, I wonder who they will choose for the fourth chair next season if they keep it open.

Right now, it's just people from the music industry; Jackson is a producer/former A&R Rep, Dioguardi is another record producer, Abdul is another record producer who is famous for her coreography work, and Cowell is an A&R Rep. All these people work behind the scenes trying to figure out what the American public will buy next, when the simple fact is; THEY DON'T BUY THE SHIT AFTER IT COMES OUT. They are not the target audience! Season after season it's been the same shit over and over again; same cast of characters, same abilities, same level of skill, and... not very many memorable careers.

That's why I am, here and now, advocating that an actual music fan be on the panel. I don't mean one of these sycophantic drooling fan girls that fill up the audience every night in the American Idol sound stage, I mean an actual music fan, or even a music critic (Bill Flanagen from CBS Sunday Morning comes to my mind). Or better yet, get a staffer from Rolling Stone who's in charge of doing music reviews, or even Allmusic.com, just ANYBODY but another damn record company lemming!

Hell, I'll do it if they fucking let me. I'd be more than happy to sit there with an air horn and blast somebody's ear drums to bits during the tryouts to get them to quit murdering Elton John and Celine Dion tunes due to lack of ability.

I just want to be that guy who sits there in his pajamas scratching a three day growth of beard going *HONK* "Has nobody ever told you that you're tone deaf? Really?" Then get out a bull horn; "YOU'RE TONE DEAF, BITCH, GET OUT!!!" Take the bullhorn, turn around to Paula Abdul and stick that thing right in here ear and go "SOBER UP, WILL YA?!"

I'd pay to see something like that. I think even Bill Hicks would pay to see something like that, God rest his miserable soul...

Edit...

Allison Iraheta was kicked off. I am sad. :-(

Also; male sexist pig joke removed.


Comments

Well, the only American Idol person who's had a somewhat decent career has been Kelly Clarkson, and that's debatable.

What I don't get is why everyone hates Simon. Haven't they realized everything he says is 95% true in the music industry? It's so stupid to think he's just being mean.

How do you feel now that it is over?

A little peeved that Adam Lambert didn't win. :-(